President Palin resigns, VP Bachman to be sworn in

February 24, 2013

NY Times Handbill -- please copy and distribute

(anonymously reported)

WASILLA, AK Today President Sarah Palin announced that she is resigning the presidency, after just one month in office.

Acknowledging, as she did in ’09 when she resigned as governor of Alaska, that the resignation was “unconventional” and that she was just not “wired for politics as usual, also!” she said she needed “also more time with my new triplets, Nuclear, Howitzer and AK-47,” born three weeks prior to her inauguration.

Her speech highlighted what she called “also my vast accomplishments in fighting terror and also, too, anti-Americanism!” during her brief tenure in office by leveling scores of cities – both foreign and domestic.

Palin's formal letter of resignation was signed, “Your Heavenly Father!”

Vice President Michele Bachman, the other half of the unprecedented female team that was elected to office in November, will be sworn in before Congress, whose remaining members now convene in a classroom at Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University in Lynchburg, VA since Palin ordered airstrikes on the Capitol.

While the President has focused on delivering nuclear strikes on the much-enlarged Axis of Evil, Bachman has spent her brief term conducting lightning-speed treason and impeachment hearings to determine which members of Congress are “pro-America or anti-America.” All tried were found guilty and all found guilty have been executed.

With the Senate now whittled down to 21 members, all Republicans from the South and West, and the House down to 94 Republicans and a smattering of Secessionist Party loyalists, Bachman promised today that she will continue Palin’s air strikes until the nation is “fully cleansed” of both individuals and regions that cannot prove they are pro-America.

Palin’s one month in office began unconventionally, without a hint what was to come. Taking a cue from Rod Blagojevich, the impeached, convicted and imprisoned former Governor of Illinois, who refused to move into the Governor’s mansion in the state capital, Palin refused to move to Washington, DC., was inaugurated in her home town in Wasilla and ran the government from her house.

But within hours of taking the oath of office, she assumed mantle of Commander in Chief, donned a mini-skirted camouflage uniform and ordered nuclear strikes on Iran, Iraq, North Korea, Russia, China, Pakistan, France and Sweden, declaring them, variously, terrorist, terrorist-hugging, socialist and “just plain foreign.”

Additional strikes followed, with most of Western Europe now in rubble along with large swaths of the Mid-East and Asia. On the advice of campaign chair and presidential advisor, Bill Kristol, Israel was spared.

Some of the nations Palin attacked appear to have retaliated but instead of striking national symbols of power and wealth, they have concentrated on “Palin country,” hitting small towns and farms in the heartland.

Each such strike resulted in Palin taking seemingly random aim at yet another nation. The cantons of Luxembourg were flattened; the population wiped out. Luxembourg, Palin said, was just “too French.”

When millions of Americans took to the streets in protest and television covered the air strikes and protests without interruption, she followed the lead of Ahmadinejad in 2009 and shut down nearly all media and communications outlets, including all television networks but Fox, cell phones, land lines, the Internet, and FM radio – leaving only AM talk radio.

Even Twitter was quashed.

Next she had tens of thousands who had quickly formed a Blue Movement (using the same hue of blue from the 2008 Obama campaign) to “take the nation back” arrested, including thousands of reporters. Within days she ordered domestic strikes on the parts of the nation she declared were not “pro-America” – the parts of the country that Palin’s international victims refused to attack.

New York City was the first to be leveled along with the North Salem, NY, home of David Letterman, with whom Palin had a dust-up in 2009, followed by Los Angeles, San Francisco, Boston and, after a warning to the remaining members of Congress to evacuate, the nation’s capital as well.

While fires across the nation’s cities are still burning, Bachman proclaimed that the “cleansing of America is near completion,” and that she looks forward to focusing on her “dearest concerns,” such as all schools teaching creationism, a full-court press for the return of production of incandescent light bulbs, the repeal of the Constitution and the adoption of The Bible as the nation’s binding law.

Former President Barack Obama, in secret exile with his family, Joe Biden and other members of his former administration, could not be reached for comment.

Film Review - Vepris

Synopsis: “Vepris”is a 6-hour silent Latvian documentary about a girl raised in the wild by a family of boars. Tracing the girl’s life from 2-months-old through adolescence, it details her life in the forest growing up with no contact with humans. Filmed by her birth parents with a telephoto lens, the child is unaware of their presence.

While the film is silent, there is a sound track that alternates between an accordion and a fiddle. Also, there are subtitles (in Latvian) that explain what the girl and each of the boars are thinking and doing (similar to Discovery channel voiceovers) and that deconstruct the transgressive narrative for the post-modern viewer.

The subtitles include a Latvian translation of the conversation that took place over the years of filming between the filmmaker parents and giants such as Derrida, Foucault, Lyotard, Lacan and, most impressively, Chomsky.

It’s playing at midnight at the “Cine Pretensia.”

MY REVIEW:

The seminal film Vepris, takes the Ovid myth of Venus and Adonis and turns it on its head. What would have happened, the film asks, if Venus had sought the boar that Adonis was chasing rather seeking Adonis?

“Sexual identity is part of the futility of sexuality,” says Derrida; however, according to de Selby, it is not so much sexual identity that is part of the futility of sexuality, but rather the defining characteristic, and eventually the stasis, of sexual identity. Vepris illuminates this paradigm.

Vepris builds on and then demolishes as trivial, the works of Fellini, where the predominant construct is the concept of postdialectic art. The primary theme of the works of Fellini is the role of the writer as participant. But in Vepris, filmmakers Karlis and Thunda Ulmanis, participation is invisible – but for the narrative discourse offered by their subtitles.

The characteristic theme of Prinn’s model of semioticist socialism is the bridge between society and sexual identity. It could be said that in Satyricon, Fellini deconstructs textual situationism; in Amarcord he examines subtextual deappropriation. The subject is contextualised into that which includes reality as a reality. In Vepris, reality loses its privilege in discourse and consciousness and becomes entirely situational.

If one examines textual situationism, one is faced with a choice: either accept Derridaist reading or conclude that society has intrinsic meaning, given that the cultural paradigm of expression is invalid. In a sense, Bataille promotes the use of Derridaist reading to challenge class divisions.

Vepris resolves this choice.

And more. Sontag suggests the use of cultural narrative to attack and analyze truth. If textual situationism holds, we have to choose between Marxist capitalism and postcapitalist objectivism. The characteristic theme of Sargeant’s analysis of textual situationism is the stasis of neotextual sexual identity.

Vepris resituates situationalism, avoids the false choice Sontag posited, and subdeconstucts the narrative to arrive at a post-millennial construct of animo-identity, which lays bare the threadbare poverty of previous attempts to merely reconstruct sexual identity. By constructing and then deconstructing animo-identity, the film exposes the failings of capitalist mythology and explains the eroticized “banking crisis."

There could be no more timely film. It brilliantly balances a fierce nominalism and anti-essentialism with a new, experiential substantialism of experimental shapes and intentions, conceived as an antidote against belief-oriented and collectivistic being.

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Kudos to the Postmodern Generator, which provided this review with so many great lines.